we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
