i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
