we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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