If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
