i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
