Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
