Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
