Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
