I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
