i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
