It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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