Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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