You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
