Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
sex in a hospital.. check
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
