I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
