So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
