just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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