i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
