I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
