I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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