I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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