and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
