WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
