DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
