i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
