I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We won't sleep together?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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