Dual....:-)
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
