my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you traded sex for a burrito?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
