Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
