so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
