She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
