Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
