He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
