Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
