If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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