I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Randomize
