we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
