Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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