just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
