Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
