btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
handjob tips. give me some.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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