there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
