ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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