redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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