Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize
