is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
