We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I intend to get homeless drunk
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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