Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
