Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
