Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
